In order to successfully release himself from the control of his parents, a child must be secure in his parents’ power, as represented by their loving authority. The more effectively they communicate that authority, the more secure the child feels, and the better able he is to move away from them toward a life of his own. During this lengthy process, whenever he feels threatened, he turns back toward the safety of his parents’ love and authority. In other words, it is impossible for a child to successfully release himself unless he knows exactly where his parents stand, both literally and figuratively. That requires, of course, that his parents know where they themselves stand. If they don’t know where they stand ― if, in other words, they are insecure in their authority ― they cannot communicate security to their child, and he cannot move successfully away from them. Under the circumstances, he will become clingy, or disobedient, or both.