Grimm's Household Tales

A certain King had three sons who were all equally dear to him, and he did not know which of them to appoint as his successor after his death. When he was about to die, he summoned them to his bedside and said, “Dear children, I have been thinking of something that I will declare to you: whichever of you is the laziest will have the kingdom.” The eldest said, “Then, father, the kingdom is mine, for I am so idle that if I lie down to rest and a drop falls in my eye, I will not open it, so that I can sleep.” The second said, “Father, the kingdom belongs to me, for I am so idle that when I am sitting by the fire warming myself, I would rather let my heel be burned off than draw back my leg.” The third said, “Father, the kingdom is mine, for I am so idle that if I were going to be hanged and had the rope already around my neck, and anyone put a sharp knife into my hand with which I might cut the rope, I would rather let myself be hanged than raise my hand to the rope.” When the father heard that, he said, “You have gone the farthest, and you will be King.”

The Twelve Idle Servants

Twelve servants who had done nothing all day would not exert themselves at night either, but lay down on the grass and boasted of their idleness. The first said, “What is your laziness to me? I have to concern myself with my own. The care of my body is my principal work; I eat a great deal and drink still more. When I have had four meals, I fast a short time until I feel hunger again, and that suits me best. To rise early is not for me; when it is getting near midday, I already look for a resting place for myself. If the master calls, I act exactly as if I had not heard him, and if he calls a second time, I wait a while before I get up and go to him very slowly. In this way life is endurable.”

The second said, “I have a horse to look after, but I leave the bit in his mouth, and if I do not feel like it, I give him no food and say he has had it already. I, however, lie down in the oat chest and sleep for four hours. After this I stretch out one foot and move it a couple of times over the horse’s body, and then he is combed and cleaned. Who is going to make a great business of that? Nevertheless, service is too toilsome for me.”

The third said, “Why plague oneself with work? Nothing comes of it! I lay down in the sun and fell asleep. It began to rain a little, but why should I get up? I let it rain on in God’s name. At last there came a splashing shower, so heavy indeed that it pulled the hair out of my head and washed it away, and I got a hole in my skull. I put a bandage on it, and then it was all right. I have already had several injuries of that kind.”

The fourth said, “If I am to undertake a piece of work, I first loiter about for an hour so that I can save up my strength. After that I begin quite slowly and ask if no one is there who could help me. Then I let him do the main part of the work, and in reality I only look on; but even that is still too much for me.”

The fifth said, “What does that matter? Just think: I am to take the manure out of the horse’s stable and load the cart with it. I let it go on slowly, and if I have taken anything on the fork, I only half raise it, and then I rest just a quarter of an hour until I finally throw it in. It is enough and to spare if I take out a cartload in a day. I have no wish to kill myself with work.”

The sixth said, “Shame on you! I am afraid of no work, but I lie down for three weeks and never once take my clothes off. What is the use of buckling your shoes on? For all I care, they may fall off my feet; it is no matter. If I am going up some steps, I drag one foot slowly after the other onto the first step, and then I count the rest of them so that I may know where I must rest.”

The seventh said, “That will not do for me; my master looks after my work, except that he is not at home the whole day. But I neglect nothing; I run as fast as it is possible to run when one crawls. If I am to get on, four sturdy men must push me with all their might. I came to where six men were lying asleep on a bed beside each other. I lay down by them and slept too. There was no waking me again, and when they wanted to get me home, they had to carry me.” The eighth said, “I see plainly that I am the only active fellow; if a stone lies before me, I do not give myself the trouble of raising my legs and stepping over it. I lie down on the ground, and if I am wet and covered with mud and dirt, I stay lying there until the sun has dried me again. At the very most, I only turn myself so that it can shine on me.” The ninth said, “That is the right way! Today the bread was before me, but I was too idle to take it, and I nearly died of hunger! Moreover, a jug stood by it, but it was so big and heavy that I did not like to lift it up, and I preferred to bear thirst. Just to turn myself around was too much for me; I remained lying like a log all day.” The tenth said, “Laziness has brought misfortune on me: a broken leg and a swollen calf. Three of us were lying in the road, and I had my legs stretched out. Someone came with a cart, and the wheels went over me. I might indeed have drawn my legs back, but I did not hear the cart coming, for the midges were humming about my ears and creeping in at my nose and out again at my mouth. Who can take the trouble to drive the vermin away?”

The eleventh said, “I gave up my position yesterday. I had no wish to carry the heavy books to my master any longer or to fetch them away again. There was no end to it all day long. But to tell the truth, he dismissed me and would not keep me any longer, because his clothes, which I had left lying in the dust, were all moth-eaten, and I am very glad about it.”

The twelfth said, “Today I had to drive the cart into the country, and I made myself a bed of straw on it and had a good sleep. The reins slipped out of my hand, and when I awoke, the horse had nearly torn itself loose, the harness was gone, the strap that fastened the horse to the shafts was gone, and so were the collar, the bridle, and the bit. Someone had come by and carried it all off. Besides this, the cart had gotten into a quagmire and stuck fast. I left it standing and stretched myself out on the straw again. At last the master came himself and pushed the cart out, and if he had not come, I would not be lying here but there, sleeping in full tranquility.”